Still Grieving, Still Grateful

A reflection on love, loss, and the sanctuary that grew from both

It has been two and a half years since he passed. In that time, there have been moments when I did not want to keep living. Grief felt so heavy I could barely breathe beneath it. I drank too much wine, ate too much chocolate, and cried oceans no one could see.

And yet, woven through the darkness, something else was happening.

I created a sanctuary—slowly, tenderly, fiercely. A place of beauty held and blessed by the land. A retreat with boutique accommodation, a fire circle, quiet meditation spaces, animals to love, and a dromenon labyrinth to walk when I needed to remember who I was beneath the sorrow.

All of it in his honour. All part of the legacy of the deep love and healing we lived by in this lifetime together.

I still can’t quite believe it exists. But we used to say, “We get shit done.” And somehow, even across realms, we still have. Me here in my human suit; him in the spiritual realm. Together, we have birthed Shanlyn.

I am profoundly grateful for this long grief—not because it has been easy, but because it has shaped me. Only he could carve a healing this deep into my heart.

Our love endures. It breathes through this land. And though I am still grieving and still missing him, I am also still overwhelmingly grateful.

Thank you for reading.

If you’re walking your own path of grief, may this place and these stories remind you that love never ends — it simply finds new ways to move through us.